Counselling for Loss of Parents

Each child shares a unique relationship with his parents. Parents own a considerable part of person’s lifetime. Beyond a baby’s trustworthy care taker, they also become their toys, books, friends, and guides. At every stage of a child’s growth, they take up a different role, to suit its needs.

The firsts in life are very important- the first birthday, the first step we take or the first mumble out of our mouth- but surely none of the memories stay with us. Right from such a slow paced beginning, our parents patiently travel with us, understanding our short comings and encouraging us to overcome them. With parents around, even as we become adults, we really don’t feel grown up. We tend have a word with them often or get their opinion everytime.

Loss of such a walk along friend is irreplaceable. More so, if the death is untimely or unnatural. When a parent leaves behind a small or a young child, it becomes the other parent’s or guardian’s responsibility to let the child overcome the sadness and carry on with life, one day at a time. When the death is unnatural, there may be a lot of stress involved. Medical expenses and legal battles may be too overwhelming in the absence of an emotional and financial support system.

But initially, take time to mourn which is very natural. Accept that mourning the loss of a loved one is going to help you to come out of it. There is no turn on or off button in our system. Any feeling that enters our psyche has to go through the entire process and cool off slowly. Accept that irrespective of your social status or age, you need to cry to let go off all sad moments. Expressing grief differs with age, sex, place and communities. And the duration of mourning is different for each and everyone. The depth of the relationship shared also matters.

Support your grieving family, most importantly the grieving second parent whose loss is more than anything. The mind and body are connected. But it’s a general conception that when the mind grieves, it is not necessary to physically express it. Mourning is needed as it is not only sadness, but a gush of other feelings like anger, anxiety, guilt and relief too engulfs a grief stricken person.

With so much going on inside the mind, understand that your body might not be as active. Take more rest and eat regularly. Sleep and food may not be of your prior interest right now, but it will help you recover fast. Many a times, bereavement can lead to sickness. The loving parent who loved you unconditionally would only want you to get ahead and live a long life.

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