Love has been glorified in movies and novels. Each one of us always wanted to have a lifelong doting partner. Mostly young lovers are very passionate or romantic in their relationship. With time, love matures and does not rely on materialistic expressions. beauty, style, romance or sex. It merely thrives on the availability of one for the other.
Unfortunately some cannot go past the first few stages of love. They actually don’t want to. Mistaking the initial vigour and romance for love, they expect it to carry on forever. As this is not possible, one constantly goes in search of a new love experience.
Some behavioural patterns are common in love addicts. They are never satisfied in one expression of love, and keep looking for more. They readily acknowledge ‘moves’ from strangers. They ignore many aspects of life including family and friends as they are happy only when romance is involved. Their perception of sex is purely physical and is only a momentary excitement. Marriage or raising children mostly has no place in their thoughts. There can be others who are possessive about their spouse or obsessed with them. They spend most of their time and give a lot space for this one person in life that other things come only second to them. Relationship is strained when they expect the same attention from the other side.
Addiction to alcohol or cigarettes happens during youth or when there is a change in lifestyle. But love addiction is about the insecure environment in which a child grows. Unsettled childhood or being deprived of love from family, especially parents, can cause a person to demand love from his partner irrationally. They imagine themselves to be a cursed angel who deserves nothing less than a royal life. They are insecure about reality and would readily fall into a dreamy world where only they and their partner exist. Highly energetic people who have been lonely for most part of their life also turn love addicts. Finding their love after those years of zeal less singlehood, they tend to be more dependent on the new found relationship.
The consequences are as harmful as with other addictions. Social life, work and other relationships will be affected. While being deserted by family or friends, depression sets in. You will not be able to take career or job seriously. As your world shrinks, you may miss out on other thrills and experiences life can offer.
Everyone falls prey to circumstances. Our mind with all its pride rarely accepts being trapped. Make up the courage and bravely accept the situation. Once you realize that addiction has overtaken, you are well in the path of recovering. Keep yourself open for true relationships. Learn to reciprocate the love of family and friends. Like, you can spend some time for parent’s medical check-up, or accompany your sister to shopping or call over your friends for an evening snack. We cannot entertain all at a go, but atleast one at a time. After all, our hearts can accommodate more than love.